time for love
that leaky faucet already
it advice? Is it opinion? Or is it simply the monthly rant of a
pompous, over-the-hill windbag? Whatever it is, it's been happening
without fail since our very first year, 2001, when GZO Jones contacted
us from his Brazilian retreat and hinted at a literary pedigree
that reaches back to the Beats. So we offered him the job and he's
amused us while remaining pithy and religiously reliable ever since.
Plus, he works really cheap.
All through my life I've been hearing that
if you have a leaky faucet, like a little drip ... drip
... drip in the bathtub, that it can be, like, gallons upon
gallons of water. Is that really true?
Drip, Drip, Drip
You seem lazy and I'm surprised you found
the energy to write. Fix that leaky faucet already, then
write me back.
Is global warming for real?
Look at it this way: If the mailman
walks across the same patch of grass every day to deliver
your mail, that patch eventually gets worn down.
Thus, all the car exhaust and industrial
smokestacks we've been aiming heavenward for all these
years must be having some negative impact. Much
like you don't need a weatherman to tell which way the
wind blows, you don't need scientific studies to suggest
something seems to be going haywire.
And, even if the theory is hogwash,
there's nothing wrong with safe rather than sorry.
Don't you get the feeling that Roe
v. Wade is as good as dead?
Dear Mr. Big,
As soon as abortions are outlawed
only outlaws will get abortions. That'll include
the girlfriends of judges, politicians and priests.
Oh, wait priests have boyfriends.
Reversing Roe v. Wade will work
about as well as Prohibition. And making it a main
issue for a world with so many real problems makes
about as much sense as shopping for a house and
basing the entire decision on the color of the paint.
The current "leadership"
leads its flock by pretending abortion (along with
gay rights) is an earth-shattering issue. Until
that changes, we're stuck in a big, ugly rut. My
longstanding take? If you think abortions are wrong,
don't have one.
On that note, I'll wish everyone
peace and love at the holidays.