nw drizzle monthly arts, music & culture e-zine

s it advice? Is it opinion? Or is it simply the monthly rant of a pompous, over-the-hill windbag? Whatever it is, it's been happening without fail since our very first year, 2001, when GZO Jones contacted us from his Brazilian retreat and hinted at a literary pedigree that reaches back to the Beats. So we offered him the job and he's amused us while remaining pithy and religiously reliable ever since. Plus, he works really cheap.

Dear Dr. Jones,

Are flu shots the answer?

Signed,
Big Chicken

Dear BC,

That depends on the question. Are you old? Infirm? An infant? Then heavens yes.

Otherwise and in my opinion, let your body do its own thing. (Of course, I'm not a medical doctor so don't sue me!)

– Jones

Dear Dr. Jones,

First the Red Sox, then the White Sox. Are the Cubs next?

Signed,
Big Fan

Dear BF,

You may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one. After these last two Octobers, I'm convinced anything can happen.

So sure. What the heck. Why not? Cubs in '06 it is.

– Jones

Dear Dr. Jones,

Rove, Plame, Miller, Libby, Cheney, Frist, Fitzgerald. What does it all mean?

Signed,
Baffled in Bend

Dear Baffled,

It means that the bad guys won because they cheated and now the chickens are coming home to roost.

These last several weeks can't help but remind me of the tired old saying: "Power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely."

Add to that a bunch of people who aren't particularly smart and not very good at their jobs and you'll find the world in a serious mess.

Only one thing's for sure: We're not done examining the prez-o-dent's rush to war.

Usually I like to offer solutions. Here, however, short of an unlikely impeachment, even I'm not sure what to suggest. I can't see much other than to ride it out for three more years, say "never again," then find somebody who's actually qualified. And who might that be? Hillary? McCain? Giuliani? Obama? Oprah? Chris Rock? Al Frankin? Who knows?

Let's just hope somebody comes forward and makes the choice seem obvious. America needs an image makeover along with serious solutions in health care, poverty, disaster preparedness, budget deficit and so much more ...

I mean, who was the last great president? George Bush Sr.? (I think not.) Reagan? (Yeah, right.) JFK? (Gone too soon.) Wild Bill Clinton? (The poster boy for wasted potential.) Has there even been a close to great one in the last 50 years?

With the entire world increasingly connected to what goes on in the White House, we're long overdue for a real leader. Long overdue.

– Jones

Dear Dr. Jones,

I heard that Sulu is gay. Doesn't that change everything?

Signed,
Confused

Dear Confused,

The only thing it changes is that you never know who's coming out next.

– Jones