No
time for love
Welcome
to hillbilly heaven
Dear
Dr. Jones
by GZO
Jones
rom
his backwoods outpost in Brazil, GZO Jones has been dispatching
skewed musings and so-called advice since he
contacted us by e-mail back in 2001. Ever since those halcyon
days, Jones has hinted at some sort of literary pedigree reaching
back to the Beat Generation. Sounds more like delusions of grandeur
to us. Even so, the guy tickles us from time to time, he has yet
to miss a deadline and he works awfully cheap.
TV stations won't show "Saving Private Ryan,"
but the big NBA brawl was on around the clock. What's wrong with
this picture?
Signed,
Terribly Vexed
Dear TV,
Seems like you've answered your own question.
A brawl between multi-millionaire athletes and average-Joe fans
lets the hoi polloi think they're equals for a moment not
to mention that advertising dollars come about from all the sadistic
heightened interest.
And watching "Saving Private Ryan"
would make people think twice about war. We can't have that!
Look for more of the same as more and more media
outlets are controlled by fewer and fewer rich people.
Jones
Dear Dr. Jones,
Winning states are red, losers are blue. I guess the
liberals were wrong, how about you?
Signed,
Winning is nice now everybody repent
Dear Winner,
Not so fast with your lame poetry and silly anagram. Who the
hell are you to confuse winning with being right?
I presume you refer to the recent U.S. election. The one where
the British headline said something like: "Can 59 million people
really be that dumb?"
I understand that virtually every city over half a million was
blue. And 11 southern states were plus-five-million for the "winner,"
while the other 39 states were up a million and a half for the "loser."
Meanwhile, the bloggers suggest that the red states also lead
the blue states when it comes to teen mothers, divorce, shootings,
obesity and chlamydia. If true (and I'd bet that it is), it's looking
more and more like the United Trailer Parks of America. Welcome
to hillbilly heaven.
Yes, I'll hang onto my U.S. citizenship but I'll stay in Brazil.
Meanwhile, dear readers, keep those cards and letters coming,
but let's talk about something other than politics in the coming
year. There's so much more to the world than that.
Peace at the holidays.
Jones
|