No
time for love
As
long as you're getting the goodies
Dear
Dr. Jones
by GZO
Jones
rom
his backwoods outpost in Brazil, GZO Jones has been dispatching
skewed musings and so-called advice since he
contacted us by e-mail back in 2001. Ever since those halcyon
days, Jones has hinted at some sort of literary pedigree reaching
back to the Beat Generation. Sounds more like delusions of grandeur
to us. Even so, the guy tickles us from time to time, he has yet
to miss a deadline and he works awfully cheap.
Doncha think pro sports are fixed? I mean, come on
... that Yankees/Red Sox thing seemed like such a hoax.
Signed,
Charlie Hustle
Dear Chuck,
Finally, something lives up to the hype and you want to put
it down! Amazing!
Just for the record, I don't think it's so easy to fix baseball.
Simply put, a guy in front of 50,000 people can't always hit a 95-MPH
sphere 1-1/2 times the length of a football field at will
even if he knows the fastball is coming. And October's spate of
ballgames often turned on such feats of bravura, one way or the
other.
But even if it were possible, sometimes believing in Santa Claus,
the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy isn't such a bad thing. As
long as you're getting the goodies and no one is getting hurt.
You sound very bitter. Enjoy your life.
Jones
I keep reading that Osama's October surprise will
work in Bush's favor. How can that be?
Signed,
Interested Voter
Dear IV,
I don't know how it can be. But it probably be. Personally,
I don't understand how any American voter much less roughly
half the electorate can look at the last four years and vote
for Bush. Hell, if I was bin Laden, I'd hire Bush as my marketing
director.
Regardless, if you can somehow stomach more on the topic, please
keep reading ...
Jones
Dear Dr. Jones,
Well, a quick glance at the calendar suggests that
this is probably my last chance to really make a case. Even while
hunkered down in Brazil, I still love the good ol' U.S. of A.
not to mention the planet, the solar system and the universe at
large.
So, once and for all ... why not Bush?
Signed,
GZO Jones
Dear Me,
Folks, it might as well be Jerry Falwell, Pat Robertson
or the Bakers.
And unless you act now, you're about to vote yourselves
into four more years of "leadership" from a ruthless gang
of self-servers led by a former Yale cheerleader who gets his instructions
directly from God and believes in world domination by any
means necessary.
It's that long-rumored industrial-military complex
coming home to roost and run by a bunch of stumblebums.
As the young people say, what part of that don't
you understand?
George W. Bush lost the last election by half a
million votes, then stole it away with a governor for a brother
and a right-leaning Supreme Court and turned it into a mandate.
Then he used 9/11 to move the country toward an obscene deficit,
a ghoulish Patriot Act, an unholy war and arrogance and a disregard
for the poor, the middle class, the environment and the rest of
the world.
Here's one I heard: Those in favor of the Bush tax cuts might as
well be choosing the mousetrap because of the cheese. Another: Just
because you have a hammer doesn't mean every problem is a nail.
One more: Politics is show business for ugly people.
That last one might actually be funny if not for
the screaming reality. Bush's gang has done so many things wrong,
lied all along and endlessly invoked the name of God to do
it.
And they still might win.
The U.S.'s next $200 billion ought to go toward
alternative energy, health plans, finding a cure for AIDS and tying
down some wide-open ports not a war to secure other people's
oil and a crusade to line rich people's pockets.
The rest of the world has come to really dislike
America. The U.S. has the military might of the next 15 countries
combined. That, along with the current path, seem to spell big trouble.
Any American president for the rest of time is
going to pay proper attention to national security. How half the
voters can be convinced that Bush has a monopoly on such is beyond
me. But convinced they are. Heaven help us!
Friends, the rich people are taking over and the
game is almost finished.
But just to show I can end on a lighter note, I'll
leave you with the paraphrase of an old political saw: Recession
is when your neighbor loses his job. Depression is when you lose
your job. And recovery is when George W. loses his job.
Be well and spread some love,
Jones
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