ast month, First Lady Laura Bush told delegates at the Republican National Convention and a vast television audience:

"I want to try to answer the question that I believe many people would ask me: 'You know him better than anyone ... why do you think we should reelect your husband as president.'"

So, Laura, what do you know about the prewar deliberations of your husband during, let's say, dinner?

"I remember some very quiet nights at the dinner table."

She has also heard his end of phone calls. He didn't want to go to war. Heck, he even paced on the lawn while thinking about it.

"I knew he was wrestling with these agonizing decisions that would have such profound consequence for so many lives and for the future of our world."

Really, Laura? As the person who knows him best, are you saying I should vote for your husband because he thought about this decision?

"My husband didn't want to go to war, but he knew the safety and security of America and the world depended on it."

I never truly believed it was only about his desire to take revenge on the man who tried to kill his father. But, Laura, please! What can you tell me that I don't know? Didn't he ever say anything privately that struck you as profound?

"If you're determined and you want to work hard, you can do anything you want to. That's the beautiful thing about America."

Actually, that was Laura quoting a woman who owns a tow truck company in Iowa.

"I have learned what our soldiers' wives have known for generations: hope and grief and perseverance."

That's not one of W's quotes, either. That one was written by a man whose wife serves in Iraq. So, Laura, what can you say to justify your addressing of the GOP? What can you tell us about your husband that we can't learn from the media?

"He'll always tell you what he really thinks. You can count on him, especially in a crisis. His friends don't change – and neither do his values. He has boundless energy and enthusiasm for his job, and for life itself. He treats every person he meets with dignity and respect ... and he's a loving man with a big heart."

So he took to heart the lessons of "All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten." Is that on the required reading list for our highest office?

"I've seen tears as he has hugged families who've lost loved ones."

Did you expect to see joy?

"I've seen him return the salute of soldiers wounded in battle."

Did you think he would stand, unmoved?

"People ask me all the time whether George has changed."

Joy! Tell me something about him!

"He's still the same person I met at a backyard barbecue in Midland, Tex., and married three months later."

So, he's still young and irresponsible?

"He brings that optimism, that sense of promise, that certainty that a better day is before us."

I, too, am certain that better days are before us. As for today, Laura seems to smile at us from her graced-out podium under God.

So, why should we vote for your husband, Laura? Faith and war seem to be the answer. Yum. Two great tastes that go great together.

Crusades are so underrated.