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No time for love

Wake up and smell the cowpies
Dear Dr. Jones
by GZO Jones

rom his backwoods outpost in Brazil, GZO Jones has been dispatching skewed musings and so-called advice since he contacted us by e-mail back in 2001. Ever since those halcyon days, Jones has hinted at some sort of literary pedigree reaching back to the Beat Generation. Sounds more like delusions of grandeur to us. Even so, the guy tickles us from time to time, has yet to miss a deadline and works awfully cheap.

Dear Dr. Jones,

Guess you're not much for liberating the oppressed, even if they don't have WMD?

On the fence in Texas

Dear Tex,

Liberating the oppressed? Spare us.

There are plenty of oppressed Americans. How about liberating them before moving halfway across the planet? Per your line of thinking, why only Iraq? Why not "fix" every country? Care to do the dirty dance with Iran? North Korea? Russia?

Your line of thinking is lame.

As for specifically "liberating" Iraq's oppressed: If those poor souls lived in the U.S.A., a vast percentage of the populace (and, I'd bet, a preponderance of Bush supporters) would be calling them lazy, towel-headed, welfare-grubbing, dangerous foreigners. Or worse. And the Bushies would be kicking them in the teeth and certainly not spending $200 billion on them. To suggest that a "big-hearted" country is "helping" them is more than a little disingenuous.

There's oil involved.

Bush picked Iraq as an easy target to make himself look good and his people told him it would be easy. It backfired.

Now it's a grand disaster, but he's lined rich people's pockets while doing it. To a lot of people (roughly half of the U.S. electorate) that's good enough.

Wake up and smell the cowpies, Tex. When there's cancer, you remove it and worry about rehab later.

You don't start a war and LOWER taxes. Unless you're trying to feather people's nests. Or you're an idiot. Or both. The U.S. is more disliked around the world than at any time in history and if George W. Bush gets reelected he's going to give the world more of the same.

Much, much more.

– Jones

Examine more advice from GZO Jones, visit his Web site and e-mail your question, large or small, to gzojones@hotmail.com.

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