A u g u s t   2 0 0 4

No time for love

Longing for questions about sex, sex, sex
Dear Dr. Jones
by GZO Jones

here do old Beats go to retire? GZO Jones headed for Brazil. We've found scant documentation that he can even keep a beat, but that has nothing to do with the fact that Jones always makes deadline and, one way or another, never shies away from a question. He likes to consider himself some sort of missing link between the 1950s and the new century. We like to consider that he works cheap.

Dear Dr. Jones,

I notice you've been bashing Bush pretty good in recent months. What's that all about?

Undecided Voter

Dear U.V.,

There's a bumper sticker that pretty much says it all: "If you're not outraged, you're not paying attention."

I mean, here's a guy who stole a presidential election, then started a war so there'd be sufficient chaos and turmoil such that enough chickenshit voters would certainly be scared away from making the necessary change.

The unelected president and his puppeteers have been reigning in civil liberties and lining rich folks' pockets ever since. And, for good measure, they've contrived gay marriage and other non-issues just to stir up their base. It's not that anybody should be prevented from marrying anyone they're lucky enough to fall in love with (remember the good ole days, when gay people were castigated for being too promiscuous?). It's that there's simply no earthly reason to make such a big deal about it – other than the fact that the guy and his handlers know that the knee-jerk response of Middle America will be to their liking.

Then, the president brags that he does what he does because God tells him to.

I'm not sure if you realize it, but the rest of the world has an amazingly strong distaste for this guy. And that doesn't bode well for an already precarious planet and its real issues, such as AIDS and the environment – problems that can best be solved by cooperation. And that's not to mention terrorism, which, let's face it, would be much better handled by some semblance of global cooperation. Or an administration that at least attacked the right country.

Sometimes I'm frighteningly glad I live in Brazil. Other times I'm ashamed of myself for not being closer to the fight.

And sometimes I long for the days when all you dear readers sent were questions about sex, sex, sex.

– Jones

Examine more advice from GZO Jones, visit his Web site and e-mail your question, large or small, to gzojones@hotmail.com.

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