J a n u a r y   2 0 0 4

Guest Writer

After all, somebody has to read this ...
by Jess Gulbranson

We’ve been following our rumpled yellow-haired hero ever since early 2001, when he lost his motel – along with everything else but the red hooded sweatshirt on his back – in a poker game. He’s been bouncing around through several different dimensions ever since. Mel returns for episode 33 next month. Meanwhile ...

ere it is, the incredible Post-Holiday Mel Extravaganza!

That's right. Now's the chance to show off your knowledge of the big guy, and win prizes to boot. Answer the following questions correctly and e-mail your answers by Jan. 15. First place takes home an autographed original manuscript page (my autograph – the one with Gary Hoey's is not up for grabs). Second place will be treated to my new signature libation, "The Black Friday." This contest is not open to employees of nwdrizzle, but their families are eligible. After all, somebody has to read this, even if it is me own mudder and fadder! Minors and people outside of the PDX area will receive an alternate prize. Without further adieu, here are the stumpers!

1. Despite secretly professing to a love of rum & Tab, Mel drinks what beverage most often throughout his adventures?

2. What alternate Portland does Mel spend the least amount of time in?

3. What important Vietnam conflict did Mel fight in?

4. Although a master blackmailer, Mel practices his craft on only one person to date. What was the unlucky fellow's dark secret?

5. According to the well-known metaphor, what base have Mel and Anne gotten to?

6. While making ends meet, what does Mel steal from his employer?

7. What do Dean and Cheldelin owe the Master?

8. Even though it is described as "very tasty," Mel refuses to eat what part of a chicken?

9. Mel does two celebrity impressions during his adventures. Name one.

10. According to Vlad the Impaler, what is the secret of immortality?

11. Two godlike beings threaten Mel with opposite ends of a household item. What is it?

E-mail your answers by Jan. 15. Good luck!

Look for Mel's past adventures, check out an interview with our dimensionally challenged hero, and e-mail Jess at j_gulbranson@hotmail.com.

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