time for love
man in the mirror and all that jazz
Jones is no ordinary guy. Just ask him he'll tell you all
about his murky triumphs back in the day, when beat was spelled
with an upper-case "B" and men like Bukowski and Kerouac
roamed the planet, mighty dinosaurs of the literary sort. But if
his Brazilian Web site (GZO
Jones Town) is any indication ... well, as we like to keep in
mind, Dr. Jones has a way with words, never turns down a good question
and hasn't missed a deadline.
Dear Dr. Jones,
Does Iraq have weapons of mass destruction, or not? And why do
people show more concern over presidential stains on a blue dress
or cork in a damned baseball bat? I don't get it. Please help me
Hey there bub, not to be a negative Nancy, but I couldn't give
a damn about the biological war that's about to happen. Is my closet
full of Chemturion suits? Do I have plenty of purified air for them,
next to the sacks of veterinary grade tetracycline? Do I need to
mention the platoon of Gurkhas led by Prussian war reenactors, all
armed to the teeth outside my humble abode?
Didn't think so. So let's talk about something important.
I'm shocked and awed over your reaction to bat-corking. In a world
of uncertainty, one thing is sure: we need to preserve pure and
fair play wherever possible. Perhaps your dystopian vision of the
future includes the Four Horsemen of War, Famine, Death and Cheating.
What comes after bat-corking? The legalized spitball? The old razor-blade
ball? Exploding bases? Pretty soon soccer players will be able to
use their hands. Then maybe linebackers and tight ends
will be given sidearms.
If that's a future insured by our machismo and foolhardy military
actions, then count me out.
As for the stains on the dress, well, I recently read where some
pundit suggests that presidential indiscretions and corked bats
are "teachable moments." In other words, it's an opportunity
to tell the kids that when we put people on pedestals (presidents,
ballplayers, etc.) we're asking for trouble.
No matter your take on religion, at least one thing rings true
about the Jesus story: While none of us humans are perfect, it's
certainly among our capabilities (and responsibilities) to keep
aiming for the higher ground. I've probably said it here before,
but it's really all about looking at the man in the mirror and all