time for love
God got to do with it?
Jones is no ordinary guy. Just ask him he'll tell you all
about his murky triumphs back in the day, when beat was spelled
with an upper-case "B" and men like Bukowski and Kerouac
roamed the planet, mighty dinosaurs of the literary sort. But if
his Brazilian Web site (GZO
Jones Town) is any indication ... well, as we like to keep in
mind, Dr. Jones has a way with words, never turns down a good question
and hasn't missed a deadline.
Dear Dr. Jones,
I keep wondering why it is that when athletes win they thank God,
and when they lose they blame anything but. What's God got to do
with it, anyway?
Skeptical Person of Righteous Teams
Most people like to have a helpful deity around to make them
feel like they've done all the right things. After all, you never
hear a loser proclaim: "Clearly, I'm a sinner and God decided
to shame and humiliate me in this meaningless sporting competition
screw Him (or Her) anyway!"
Mull this quote from "As Good As It Gets," where
Jack Nicholson's romance-novelist character is asked how he writes
women so well: "I think of a man, then take away reason and
Personally, I don't believe the two attributes were there to
be taken away in the first place.
But where the whole concept really starts to irk me is when
it's relative to the slightly more serious "game" of war
... as if God is sitting in some heavenly easy chair, making book
on brutal regimes, terrorists who take down skyscrapers and those
who'd invade a country with shaky evidence.
God, according to the actions of man, is a mere convenience
that keeps us from having to look in the mirror.
Dear Dr. Jones,
Whatever happens to all the prophets when their time is up? I mean,
what happens when they say the world will end in 2000, and then
Prophet & Loss
I'll tell you something: kooky prophets must read the same textbooks
as politicians, because it's all a matter of what you don't say.
Consider: if you rip the ass out of your pants, what do you
do? You don't try to cover it with your hand, or say "I meant
to do that!" You just pretend like nothing happened, and people
don't say much.
The same tactic works for bombing the shit out of the wrong
country, or any other similar shenanigans. Just ask Hank Kissinger:
he kept his mouth shut for a few decades and now he's a folk hero.
What it boils down to is that failed prophets should master the
timeless art of spin doctoring.
When the deadline for divine apocalypse passes, just be like
the proverbial church-mouse and it's likely your snafu will be forgotten,
if not forgiven. Come to think of it, the reverse might apply as
well. If you are right and the sky rains fire, people could
be pretty pissed if you try to cover it with your hand or say "I
meant to do that!"