No
time for love
Only
history will say for sure
Dear
Dr. Jones
by GZO
Jones
Each month GZO Jones adds to his own pungent
aura by answering as many questions from our readers as he sees
fit. He swears he lives in Brazil, was part of the Beat movement
of the 1950s and 60s and recently recovered from a lengthy
coma. Want more? Check out the GZO
Jones Town Web site weve been there and all we
have to say is ... he hits his deadline, so who are we to argue?
Dear Dr. Jones,
Most of the "Beats" seemed to be gay or
at least bisexual. What about you?
Signed,
Curious
Dear Curious,
I am not homo-, mono-, bi- nor tri-sexual. Warped,
perhaps, but generally straight. Ive drunkenly received
a hummer or two from what at least seemed to be beautiful ladies
with superfluous anatomy, but that hardly counts. I was on the
tail end of the ever-lavender Beat movement, and Id like
to think that my innovative writings and brash lifestyle led to
the end of Beat as we knew it. Only history will say for sure.
But while were on the topic, Id like to air one of
my lifelong peeves: Why must we be so preoccupied with what goes
on in each others bedrooms? Are we envious? Bored? Small-minded?
All of the above? If wed make a sincere, collective effort
to worry a little less about the collective affairs of others,
wed probably find our hands increasingly full literally
and figuratively both. Not to mention that wed make the
world a friendlier place. I certainly didnt coin the following
phrase, people, but it seems painfully obvious: Cant we
all just get along?
Jones
Dear Dr. Jones,
What would you suggest to someone looking for a
novel and, shall we say, "pharmaceutical," adventure?
Everything out today is too toxic or too boring.
Signed,
Jaded
Dear Jaded,
Right now Im using a mixture of DMSO and
biological extracts compounded by some of my rain forest friends.
For an added dimension of strange, I have my household staff daub
this mixture on various random locations throughout the day. The
capo of my guitar for example, or the letter X on my keyboard.
Sometimes it will be the handle of the toilet or the refrigerator.
For the sake of liability, I wont give specific ingredients.
So if you want to get my exact high, then feel
free to drop by the ever-secret Jones hacienda. If you can find
it.
Of course, I like to temper it all with a dose
of reality every so often.
Jones
Dear Dr. Jones,
Is it true that Steely Dan takes its name from a
vibrator, and, if so, how could the '70s mainstream have allowed
such a thing? Do you think that society has become more conservative
since the '60s and '70s? And, if so, is this a bad thing?
Signed,
A Concerned Rock Fan
Dear Concerned,
Yes, the clever creators of Rikki Dont
Lose That Number took their name from the metallic dong
mentioned in Burroughs Naked Lunch. How did
it slip through? Everything the Dan did in the 70s was like
the purloined letter hidden in plain sight. Beneath a veneer
of watered-down jazz/rock fusion, Becker and Fagen said a lot
of things pretentious, caustic and subversive. Most of it passed
for what was known as pop in those days, and thus
all manner of literary perversion made it to the radio.
As for society being more conservative, all I
can say is that the more things change, the more they stay the
same.
Jones